Today I shall be witty, charming and elegant...

Or maybe I'll say "Um" a lot and trip over things.

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He doesn't know, but I love watching him sleep. I can see everything he hides from the world when he sleeps. All hihs fear, his stress, his vulnerabilities. But mostly I love watching him sleep because I know that when he wakes he will smile at me ad kiss my lips and ask me what I'm thinking about and that question alone tells me that he cares. I never tell him exactly what I'm thinking because if he knew that I was thinking about him leaving, it would break his heart. Even sadder if he knew that behind my smiling eyes I am questioning whether it is worth it to stay, when I know that he is going to leave me anyway. He kisses me again and I  smile  looking into his eyes.. His eyes that hold all the world's wisdom, and I have my answer. Of course it is. He has already taught me more about myself and about life than any one man has ever taught me. He's taught me that I've been going about life the wrong way. Seeing it as one catastrophe after another instead of the bushel of miracles that it truly is. That I've been so afraid of everything, I haven't ever stopped to want anything for myself. I look at his now sleeping face and the first word that comes to mind is patience. That gift of which he has so much of, and that I have so little. The second word is love.
Brandon, I have fallen. You may not know this about yourself, but you brought me back to life. I've been walking around s afraid and confined, but now I am free. I am alive once more and it is because of you. Thank you for being there. And know, that I will support you in whatever you choose to do. Even if that means you have to go away. You have to do what makes you happy in life. As long as you're happy, I can be too.

Your Girlfiend,



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